The Gas Chambers!!!

Right from my childhood when I was staying in Udaipur, I have traveled a lot by road… Even when I started working in sales and marketing, traveling by Volvos and cabs to pune, Kolhapur, Indore-Bhopal etc etc. was a integral part of my job… One thing was always common…

I call them The Gas Chambers

With their bladders full, the passengers ran towards the so called ‘tolets’ or ‘ bathrum’ or ‘ m*#$laya’…

Check out the Difference between a seasoned travelers and amateurs.

Amateurs: Nicely walks in like a king… the ammonia gets into the nostrils… reminds them of the chemistry practicals at schools… they puke or run out…

Seasoned: Places himself at a perfect distance from the battlefield… takes a deepest breath and runs, completes his duty and runs out…

I am sure lot of u r wondering already why all this stuff on my blog!!!!!

Because I think this shows y all of us don’t care about sanitation and basic amenities… And these are the facilities for people who pay and shuttle between big cities. Just Imagine the condition in slums, rural areas and unconnected villages. And then we want to eradicate all the diseases. Wheres the intent, plan. Does govt. need to come out with a sanitation policy???

Here, I would like to mention good work Sulabh has done in India. It has a chain of pay-and-use public toilet complexes, We generally crack jokes abt . Do we think that these toilets service almost 10 million people everyday for urinating and bathing!!! It also produces biogas andbiofertilizers in gas based plants. They have a turnover of arnd 100 crores.. anf above all they are avoiding so many diseases.

So moral of the story, whenever u r using a public toilet for answerin ur calls, atleast flush them!!!!!

THE DREAM TEAM

Here is my Test Cricket dream team… The scope is only the cricketers I have heard of or seen playing… I apologise if I miss any of the old legends….


1) Sunil Gavaskar

Take him anywhere, Bounce of Australia, to swing of England, pace of west indies to the dusty pitches in sub-continent. He will score runs. He raised the Indian team form “A bunch of losers” to “A team of fighters”. Hats off to his record against the famous West Indies pace quartlet .

2) Desmond Haynes

Never saw him play, but read that when he played, there was no voice of bat hitting the ball….sweet timing… Great record

3) Don Bradman

Unarguably the best batsman the world has seen. With the romantic average of 99.94. And remember, on uncovered pitches. People had to devise “bodyline” to stop his run scoring.

4) Sachin Tendulkar

Highest number of centuries, consistent performance over such a long period of time. No team is complete without him… (Not even Bradman’s). I love this guy!!!!!


5) Brian Lara

375, 400, 501…phew… this guy plays big innings… With the trademark shuffle and pull, he would be the most stylish batsman in my team… Imagine Sachin and Lara…together…

6) Imran Khan

His record may not be as great as some of the other great allrounders, I pick him as the captain for his leadership skills. Such an inspiring individual, who led Pakistan to World Cup Glory. Got Wasim Akram amd Inzy from nowhere. (How can Kapil, Botham, Sobers miss out!!! Don’t ask me)

7) Mark Boucher

I think this guy is better than Gilly as a keeper, amd that’s why he is picked…. He is really underrated as a player…..Can’t forget his flying catches both sides of the wicket… and the innings he played at the wanderers chasing 400+…

8) Shane Warne

For me, The best spinner who has played the game. Can ball a 6 ball over with different varieties and still have something up his sleeve for the next over… The flipper is mind-blowing… Though Murli will take much more wickets, he can’t match this man’s guile.

9) Malcolm Marshall

Tough choice between him and Holding, but Marshall wins because of his skidy balling. Inspite of being a short man, he had a ability of bowling the ball which just takes off from good length. Had a great Yorker. Also could bat reasonably well.

10) Wasim Akram

The best left armer… In-swing, out swing, bouncer, Yorker, cutters…ask him and he dishes them out. The hat-tricker… The sultan of reverse swing…

11) Glenn McGrath

He could bore us by putting 1000 balls in the same place… batsman dread him because he is predictable. Just outside off stump… And definitely the best number 11 J

12) Twelfth man: Jonty Rhodes

Imagine someone gets injured, and who gets on the field… Jonty… The best fielder of all time… changed the way cricket was played…. With ham as twelfth man, I would wish someone gets injured while fielding….

Can even Gods beat this team?????

THE CUTE COUSIN!!!

Whenever there were any communal riots… I used to tell myself… it will be all over after this generation… be it Godhra carnage, or best bakery massacre , or the bhivandi case.. I was convinced that the next generation and the generation after that will not think anything about all this… after all we do’t care who’s Hindu or who’s Muslim…. I was very hopeful...

TODAY I WAS PROVED WRONG….

Some of my relatives from Jamnagar ( The Reliance city in Gujarat) had visited us. Along came this young, cheerful 12 year old cousin of mine… amazing IQ…. With his gujarati masala English. He asked questions like how young Shahrukh asks in the KBC ad.. Right from how my laptop works.. to what I studied in my engineering…. To why I didn’t take up painting after XIIth…. To why is there only one reverse gear in the car… Just anything under the sun... It was fun… reminded me of my inquisitive childhood…

I had not shaved for a long time so had some facial hair.

Like always, my mom was joking, “ Please shave, and look like a decent human being.”

I replied, “Mom, facial hair is in… aap buddhe ho gaye ho”

Mom frowned. The young cousin told me , “ Hey, you should not grow beard over a particular limit”.

I became inquisitive. I asked , “ Why yaar, it looks good on me.”

His answer shattered me , “ You will look like one of those Mohammedans.”

So this is what we are teaching the next India. The hatred... These kind of people will look after our “secular” country. I understand why Gujarat is burning. If a 12 year old is saying this, god only help the grown ups. Someone has said ‘Child’s mind is like Clay, you can make whatever you want.’ Please don’t make human bombs from that. Not blaming hindus only, its everyone who is at fault, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, Parsis, etc etc… Who tell children first that we are followers of so and so God before we tell them about The Indian Flag… The innumerable forms where our religion is asked before our nationality….

I was not at all surprised to know my cousin’s dad attends RSS shakha once in a while. Everyone in his colony does!!!!!

After gathering my thoughts again, I tried continuing with the conversation. I asked the little man , “ So whos your favorite cricketer, yaar?”

He answered raising his left hand as if to ball a in-swinger, “ Irfan Pathan!!!!!”

Does he even know that this guy is a Gujarati Muslim?????

I love sports. I eat, drink, sleep sports. And I love when big tournaments come to India. Be it Commonwealth, ATP tour event, Champions Trophy, Or WTA events. However, during last month’s Sunfeast open at Calcutta I noted something which I would like to share.

A US$ 175000 Tier III event. Lots of good players – Martina was here!!!:) and obviously our own Sania Mirza. The event was very well managed by GLOBOSPOT. Amazing facilities, good crowds.. and Good matches. But when the world was watching we screwed up.

I am talking about the presentation ceremony. Oh God… Our college ceremony used to be better. Firstly there were 6 people in the presentation part (no wonder its called a party!!). No one new if bouquet had to be given first or the cheque. Infact once the cheque given was taken back coz bouquet was not given. It was a big mess. And it hurts after such a good tournament.

If we want people to seriously consider us for hosting Grad Prix’s, World Cups and Olympics, every small thong has to be taken care of. Hence please take care, when you show INDIA to the world.